Some faith
traditions embrace infant baptism. These are memorable occasions for everyone
except the child, who is too young to remember anything, and only later knows
of the event's significance through photos, stories and certificates.
For
Baptists, however, baptisms are always memorable for each candidate as well as
family and congregation. Baptists only immerse those who are old enough to have
confessed Christ publicly.
Sometimes
Baptist baptisms are memorable for all the wrong reasons.
My maternal
grandmother's church believed that baptism should take place as soon as
possible after one's public decision to follow Jesus. Unfortunately, she chose
the middle of winter to walk the aisle.
Her North
Carolina church had no baptistry, so they used the local river for baptisms.
The pastor broke river ice the day he baptized my grandmother.
The rural
Mississippi church my dad pastored when I made a public profession of faith had
no baptistry either, but at least they had sense enough to wait until Spring to
baptize candidates. When the weather was warm enough, the congregation gathered
at a local creek for a Sunday afternoon baptismal service.
After
checking the area for snakes and other critters, folks stood on the small
bridge overlooking the creek banks where others had assembled near the line of
baptismal candidates.
First,
everyone sang gospel hymns accompanied by my mother on her accordion. Then the
baptizing commenced.
When the
service was done the youth swam, swinging out over deeper waters on a tire
roped to a tree limb. Country baptisms were always fun events.
The day of
my baptism I was seven years old. There were several other candidates, so my
dad put me at the front of the line, thinking that since I'd seen other
baptisms, I would set an example of proper decorum for everyone. Wrong.
I didn't
know how to swim yet and had never had my head entirely underwater. When he
dipped me I got strangled and emerged sputtering and crying, generally
disrupting the entire service.
Since then,
I've seen many other baptismal ceremonies go wrong:
My current
pastor once entered the sanctuary baptismal pool too early during the
congregational singing, creating large shadow effects as he moved around behind
the lighted stained glass window before it was rolled aside for baptism.
On another
occasion he was late returning to the worship service after baptism because his
waders had leaked, soaking his sock and pants leg.
Another of
my pastors was nearly always wet when he returned to the service. Invariably,
he rolled up the wrong sleeve of his dress shirt prior to immersing candidates.
On several
occasions I've seen short children suddenly "disappear" from the
congregation's view because someone forgot to put a stool or cement block in
the baptistry for them to stand on.
My dad once
lost his balance during a baptism, nearly dropping a morbidly obese candidate.
Several
times choir members in the loft have gotten splashed during baptisms. At one
church a candidate accidentally sloshed the baptismal waters enough to create a
tidal wave, thoroughly soaking the back two rows of the choir.
At another
church the new baptismal robes were discovered--too late--to be extremely
opaque when wet.
One winter
we discovered during Sunday School that the baptistry water heater was broken.
The candidate decided to go ahead with her baptism anyway, since extended
family had come for this special occasion. The water was so frigid her teeth
chattered as she proclaimed, "Jesus is Lord."
In my
former church the opposite happened. The baptism planned for the beginning of
the service had to be postponed to the end (after the ushers added ice) because
the water was practically boiling. The candidate would've been cooked like a
lobster.
When the
heavy velvet baptistry curtains finally opened, a huge cloud of steam rolled
out into the sanctuary.
Several
years ago a video made the rounds on social media. In it the pastor was shown
baptizing candidates, then reaching for a young boy who was next in line.
Rather than
taking the pastor's hand and stepping into the baptismal waters, the boy
impishly did a cannonball instead.
It took
several minutes for the drenched pastor, shaking out his microphone and soggy
Bible, to regain any composure.
Sometimes I
think God does a belly laugh at some of the mishaps that occur as we try to
have meaningful worship experiences together.
Despite our
best planning, things often go awry as we Christians attempt to balance
celebration and reverence, spontaneity and ritual in baptismal services and
other spiritual events.
When things
go wrong, it helps to remember that God only looks on the intents of our
hearts. It is our sincere effort, not our perfection during worship that is
most important to our Creator.
After all,
God does know we're only human.
See you in worship this Sunday - Naomi
